For me, sadness is like a heavieness. I weighs me down in my shoulders and cheeks. It'll do that untill something distracts me, such as someone coming to the door about the census. After that I want to dwell, still, on whats bothering me, because it's still on my mind, but it won't weigh me down... I feel like calling someone...

It's true, that your mind can repress memories, in my case a conversation was repressed with getting a laptop. The conversation was on Sunday, and I'd completely forgotten about it 'till a phone conversation today, and the Sunday conversation was brought up. If the person having the conversation was at all mature, or put together well, they wouldn't have involved me. I wasn't included in the conversation, it was between the woman I just mentioned and one of my Aunts. I was sitting right beside my Aunt, and it wasn't meant not to be overheard, but I tried to think of something else because it hurt my feelings alot. Who talks about someone who's sitting beside the person you're talking to? The woman is jealous of the attention I get... she's acting the way I should be acting with her being like this. It's not like we've ever really been peachy, there's always been jealousy between us, and she can be a real bitch sometimes, not just to me... I observe alot.

As I was writing above, I want to call someone, but there's no one really to call. The only person I've told is my mom, and there's not much more to say with her. In class we're reading The Catcher in the Rye, and a lot of my classmates hated/hate the book, but I'd really like it if we didn't get really hard questions on every single chapter. I think one of the reasons I like it so much is because the more I read, the more I can relate to the main character, Holden. Holden is really depressed alot, and finds alot of things and people phony, but also, throughout the book he always wants to call someone, and I'm like that. Though I only really like talking on the phone to family. Also, Holden has really intricate trains of thought, and it's easily started off onto something almost completely different than the trigger-thought; I do that alot.

Oh yea, I'm supposed to be getting a laptop! I've like always wanted one! Can't wait!

Anyway, I'm off. Ta ta.