Motivation, or Lack Thereof

You know, at 2 am Friday morning, while I was trying to fall asleep, I had the perfect idea of what I wanted to write about today; I'd even composed the first paragraph, which sounded witty and was very good, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I won't be posting that wonderful blog today, because as per the nature of such things, I cannot remember anything about that blog I'd thought up. Oh great, and now I can't even remember any of the other topics I'd decided I wanted to write about.

After a bit of time ruminating on what to write, I think I've got something. Motivation. A rather timely choice actually, I just finished a psychology quiz on motivation and emotion. But I chose this topic because as I was playing my new Guitar Hero On Tour: Decades, I found my mind wandering back (my mind wanders an awful lot, in many directions at once, at any one time), and running through a story. But it wasn't just any story I'd read, it was one that I'd written. I wrote it in Word on my old Dell that now resides in my basement. Over a few months, I'd finished about 3 or 4 chapters of my novel, and stopped for a while, and when I went back to write some more after about a month without writing, I couldn't find the darned thing anywhere! I checked every folder I could, and I opened every Word file in my computer, to make sure I hadn't messed up the name, and I never found it. I was so put off by this, that 5 years later (approximately), I still haven't tried to rewrite it, even though I can still remember the images I'd had in my head while I wrote it, the names of the characters, their backgrounds, and the changes I made to my original one page intro, which I wrote when I was about 7 or 8 years old, fooling around on my mom's old type writer. The storyline is very close to me, as it revolves around a recurring dream I had when I was very young, and has aspects of what I thought the world might look like one day (yes it was a futuristic novel, those are some of my favs). Thinking about this though today, it occurred to me, why don't I just start rewriting it now, surely my writing has gotten better, and I won't lose anything by rewriting it, but also, what's stopped me from writing for so long? Is it that I have no motivation to write it now? Because that's what it feels like. It is so easy to lose motivation, yet it takes a lot of work to become motivated. That's the main "moral of the story", the idea that sparked this blog post. Maybe it's just me, and it's true what my step-dad says, I'm just incredibly lazy, but really, I don't think it is. If anyone happens to read this blog, this would be a good time to think up something to say in a comment ;)

Now that I've mentioned this, I'd also like to add a little thought about my... well my thoughts. I've heard this about Geminis (at least I think it was about Geminis), that our trains of thought are erratic. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone, and I bring up something completely random, I'll explain to them where the thought came from ("well we were talking about Ireland, and that got me thinking about my step-dad's family, which lead me to this relative who I haven't seen in a while, and it got me thinking about his dog, who my sister loved, and that got me thinking about our other dogs..." etc). Usually these trains of thought happen in milliseconds, and they really do go everywhere, following less closely related paths than that in my example. Again, I'm just wondering, is it just me? Or maybe there's a fair amount of people out there who think like this. I rather like it. It keeps things interesting... and it's just fun following the trains of thought in my own head. Sometimes if I don't know where I got an idea or thought, I'll trace it back through what I was thinking about before... :P

Anyways, I think I'll end this post now, I'm getting tired, and I think I've rambled enough for now.
Oh, and for my next post, I've already thought out a topic, title, and first few lines, but don't worry, I wrote them down!

I wonder if I'll be able to motivate myself for the next 20 days or so I have left of the semester...